Friday, June 20, 2003
I'm slowly becoming a Neil Diamond fan, which is a betrayal of everything and everyone I've ever loved.
"The Soft Hustle", a film by my Antagonist friend Ethan, is screening tomorrow, Saturday June 21, 2003, at 3:30 p.m. at the Alameda Theater (318 West Houston Street, San Antonio, Texas) as an official selection of the 9th Annual 2003 San Antonio Underground Film Festival. GO!
Well, actually, as long as I'm singing the praises of my friends, Kevin appears in this month's issue of M Magazine (the one with 'N Syncster Justin Timberlake on the cover) and Queen of the Twist has an article in this month's Yellow Rat Bastard magazine (the one with porn star Tera Patrick on the cover).
"The Soft Hustle", a film by my Antagonist friend Ethan, is screening tomorrow, Saturday June 21, 2003, at 3:30 p.m. at the Alameda Theater (318 West Houston Street, San Antonio, Texas) as an official selection of the 9th Annual 2003 San Antonio Underground Film Festival. GO!
Well, actually, as long as I'm singing the praises of my friends, Kevin appears in this month's issue of M Magazine (the one with 'N Syncster Justin Timberlake on the cover) and Queen of the Twist has an article in this month's Yellow Rat Bastard magazine (the one with porn star Tera Patrick on the cover).
Thursday, June 19, 2003
So long, suckers! My ship has come to shore!:
From: "Nicholas Ted"
To: mpwtx@yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 19 Jun 2003 04:57:38 -0700
Subject: PLEASE REPLY
From: Dr. Nicholas Ted
Tel: 234-8033074806
fax: 234-1-7596714
Email:tnicholas1@go.com
Dear sir/Madam,
In order to transfer out (USD 12.6 M) Twelve million Six Hundred United
States Dollars) from African Development Bank. I have the courage to
ask you to look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable for
this important business believing that you will never let me down
either now or in future.
I am Dr. Nicholas Ted, the Chief Auditor of African Development
Bank(ADB).
There is an account opened in this bank in 1998 and since nobody has
operated on this account again.
After going through some old files in the records, I discovered that if
I do not remit this money out urgently it would be forfeited for
nothing. The owner of this account is Mr.Smith B.Andreas, a foreigner,and a
miner at kruger gold co., a geologist by profession and he died since
1998. No other person knows about this account or any thing concerning
it, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to
me as well that this company does not know anything about this account
and the amount involved is (USD 12.6M) Twelve Million, six Hundred
United States Dollars million dollars. I want to first transfer
US$6,000,000:00 Six million United States Dollars from this money into a safe
foreigners account abroad before the rest, but I don't know any foreigner.
I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money cannot be
approved to a local bank here, but can only be approved to any foreign
account because the money is in us dollars and the former owner of the
account is Mr. Smith B.Andreas he is a foreigner too.
I know that this message will come to you as a surprise as we don't
know ourselves before. We will sign an agreement, but be sure that it is
real and a genuine business. I only got your contact address from
International Business Directory,with believe in God that you will never let
me down in this business. You are the only person that I have contacted
in this business; so please reply urgently so that I will inform you
the next step to take immediately. Send also your private telephone and
fax number including the full details of the account to be used for the
deposit. I want us to meet face to face or sign a binding agreement to
bind us together so that you can receive this money into a foreign
account or any account of your choice where the fund will be safe. And I
will fly to your country for withdrawal and sharing and other
investments.
I am contacting you because of the need to involve a foreigner with
foreign account and foreign beneficiary. I need your full co-operation to
make this work fine because the management is ready to approve this
payment to any foreigner, who has correct information of this account,
which I will give to you later immediately, if you are able and with
capability to handle such amount in strict confidence and trust according to
my instructions and advice for our mutual benefit because this
opportunity will never come again in my life. I need truthful person in this
business because I don't want to make mistake I need your strong
assurance and trust. With my position now in the office I can transfer this
money to any foreigner's reliable account, which you can provide with
assurance that this money will be intact pending my physical arrival in
your country for sharing. I will destroy all documents of transaction
immediately we receive this money leaving no trace to any place. You can
also come to discuss with me face to face after which I will make this
remittance in your presence and two of us will fly to your country at
least two days ahead of the money going into the account.
I will apply for annual leave to get visa immediately I hear from you
that you are ready to act and receive this fund in your account. I will
use my position and influence to effect legal approvals and onward
transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance forms of
the ministries and foreign exchange departments.
At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total
amount, 60% will be for me, while 5% will be for expenses both parties
might have incurred during the process of transferring.
I look forward to your earliest reply
Dr. Nicholas Ted
From: "Nicholas Ted"
To: mpwtx@yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 19 Jun 2003 04:57:38 -0700
Subject: PLEASE REPLY
From: Dr. Nicholas Ted
Tel: 234-8033074806
fax: 234-1-7596714
Email:tnicholas1@go.com
Dear sir/Madam,
In order to transfer out (USD 12.6 M) Twelve million Six Hundred United
States Dollars) from African Development Bank. I have the courage to
ask you to look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable for
this important business believing that you will never let me down
either now or in future.
I am Dr. Nicholas Ted, the Chief Auditor of African Development
Bank(ADB).
There is an account opened in this bank in 1998 and since nobody has
operated on this account again.
After going through some old files in the records, I discovered that if
I do not remit this money out urgently it would be forfeited for
nothing. The owner of this account is Mr.Smith B.Andreas, a foreigner,and a
miner at kruger gold co., a geologist by profession and he died since
1998. No other person knows about this account or any thing concerning
it, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to
me as well that this company does not know anything about this account
and the amount involved is (USD 12.6M) Twelve Million, six Hundred
United States Dollars million dollars. I want to first transfer
US$6,000,000:00 Six million United States Dollars from this money into a safe
foreigners account abroad before the rest, but I don't know any foreigner.
I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money cannot be
approved to a local bank here, but can only be approved to any foreign
account because the money is in us dollars and the former owner of the
account is Mr. Smith B.Andreas he is a foreigner too.
I know that this message will come to you as a surprise as we don't
know ourselves before. We will sign an agreement, but be sure that it is
real and a genuine business. I only got your contact address from
International Business Directory,with believe in God that you will never let
me down in this business. You are the only person that I have contacted
in this business; so please reply urgently so that I will inform you
the next step to take immediately. Send also your private telephone and
fax number including the full details of the account to be used for the
deposit. I want us to meet face to face or sign a binding agreement to
bind us together so that you can receive this money into a foreign
account or any account of your choice where the fund will be safe. And I
will fly to your country for withdrawal and sharing and other
investments.
I am contacting you because of the need to involve a foreigner with
foreign account and foreign beneficiary. I need your full co-operation to
make this work fine because the management is ready to approve this
payment to any foreigner, who has correct information of this account,
which I will give to you later immediately, if you are able and with
capability to handle such amount in strict confidence and trust according to
my instructions and advice for our mutual benefit because this
opportunity will never come again in my life. I need truthful person in this
business because I don't want to make mistake I need your strong
assurance and trust. With my position now in the office I can transfer this
money to any foreigner's reliable account, which you can provide with
assurance that this money will be intact pending my physical arrival in
your country for sharing. I will destroy all documents of transaction
immediately we receive this money leaving no trace to any place. You can
also come to discuss with me face to face after which I will make this
remittance in your presence and two of us will fly to your country at
least two days ahead of the money going into the account.
I will apply for annual leave to get visa immediately I hear from you
that you are ready to act and receive this fund in your account. I will
use my position and influence to effect legal approvals and onward
transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance forms of
the ministries and foreign exchange departments.
At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total
amount, 60% will be for me, while 5% will be for expenses both parties
might have incurred during the process of transferring.
I look forward to your earliest reply
Dr. Nicholas Ted
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
Tricia Brick, Someone in Texas is Stealing from You Eleven Years Later
Summer. 1987.
The Jewish Community Center Pool.
Ewing Township, New Jersey.
Eleven year-old Paul Zimmerman had been building towards this moment for months.
No one understood.
Not his younger brother.
Not the other boys playing drown the other boys.
Certainly not his parents. Sheesh! What could they know about love, anyway?
There were no grandmas.
There were no lawns to be mowed.
There were no summer reading lists.
There was only sixteen year-old Heather Westerberg, lifeguard of his heart.
He had loved her since the first moment he heard her blow her whistle at the end of her purple lanyard.
He loved her wistfully dribbling his toes in the shallow end.
He loved her bobbing beneath her chair in the deep end.
He loved her as the older boys flirted with her, and he even loved her when she flirted back.
He loved her all throughout her doomed romance with that posturing child David Shinegold.
He loved every tear she wasted on that ungrateful fool.
He loved.
And he swam.
My God, he swam!
He swam so much so that Was that definition in his biceps? Yes it was!
He even jumped off the high board for his love on his first try.
Staring.
Waiting.
Watching loveless cowards give up and turn back down the ladder.
Until, finally, climbing, ascending towards the Sun with a determination that dwarfed Icarus, leaving his waxwings far, far behind on that mighty, white lion’s tongue as he leapt toward cold, wet heroism and pain.
She wasn’t looking.
And everyday he would think "What would Peter Parker do?" "What would Peter Parker do?" "What would Peter Parker do!?"
Until one day he woke up and said "To Heck with Peter Parker! I’m Paul Zimmerman!"
He waded into the three-foot zone and swam.
He entered in the end of the pool that was sixteen year-old Heather Westerberg’s Summer of Boys Say Everything Except the Truth and swam a Mt. Olympian distance of subzero caramel towards sixteen year-old Heather Westerberg’s Summer of an Eleven Year-Old Taught Me Another Meaning in Tears.
Reaching the twelve-foot zone, he pulled himself out of boyhood at her feet.
Locking eyes with her, he reached out his hand, his four fingertips just barely touching hers (his thumb not quite long enough), and, my God, wanted to intertwine his fingers around hers, wanted so much more, but didn’t want to appear anything less than 100% chivalrous.
Eleven year-old Paul Zimmerman spoke words that would sink the lifeguard, sixteen year-old Heather Westerberg.
Words she would later recall in story, trying to make cute boys laugh.
Words one lucky cute boy would ironically and knowingly say to her on their wedding night.
Words she would repeat to make herself giggle through the sobs of her divorce.
Eleven year-old Paul Zimmerman squeaked with the courage of a thousand Bomb Pops, "Juliet, you are the Sun."
Summer. 1987.
The Jewish Community Center Pool.
Ewing Township, New Jersey.
Eleven year-old Paul Zimmerman had been building towards this moment for months.
No one understood.
Not his younger brother.
Not the other boys playing drown the other boys.
Certainly not his parents. Sheesh! What could they know about love, anyway?
There were no grandmas.
There were no lawns to be mowed.
There were no summer reading lists.
There was only sixteen year-old Heather Westerberg, lifeguard of his heart.
He had loved her since the first moment he heard her blow her whistle at the end of her purple lanyard.
He loved her wistfully dribbling his toes in the shallow end.
He loved her bobbing beneath her chair in the deep end.
He loved her as the older boys flirted with her, and he even loved her when she flirted back.
He loved her all throughout her doomed romance with that posturing child David Shinegold.
He loved every tear she wasted on that ungrateful fool.
He loved.
And he swam.
My God, he swam!
He swam so much so that Was that definition in his biceps? Yes it was!
He even jumped off the high board for his love on his first try.
Staring.
Waiting.
Watching loveless cowards give up and turn back down the ladder.
Until, finally, climbing, ascending towards the Sun with a determination that dwarfed Icarus, leaving his waxwings far, far behind on that mighty, white lion’s tongue as he leapt toward cold, wet heroism and pain.
She wasn’t looking.
And everyday he would think "What would Peter Parker do?" "What would Peter Parker do?" "What would Peter Parker do!?"
Until one day he woke up and said "To Heck with Peter Parker! I’m Paul Zimmerman!"
He waded into the three-foot zone and swam.
He entered in the end of the pool that was sixteen year-old Heather Westerberg’s Summer of Boys Say Everything Except the Truth and swam a Mt. Olympian distance of subzero caramel towards sixteen year-old Heather Westerberg’s Summer of an Eleven Year-Old Taught Me Another Meaning in Tears.
Reaching the twelve-foot zone, he pulled himself out of boyhood at her feet.
Locking eyes with her, he reached out his hand, his four fingertips just barely touching hers (his thumb not quite long enough), and, my God, wanted to intertwine his fingers around hers, wanted so much more, but didn’t want to appear anything less than 100% chivalrous.
Eleven year-old Paul Zimmerman spoke words that would sink the lifeguard, sixteen year-old Heather Westerberg.
Words she would later recall in story, trying to make cute boys laugh.
Words one lucky cute boy would ironically and knowingly say to her on their wedding night.
Words she would repeat to make herself giggle through the sobs of her divorce.
Eleven year-old Paul Zimmerman squeaked with the courage of a thousand Bomb Pops, "Juliet, you are the Sun."
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
E-mail Conversation With a Coworker
Subject: I don't think women should be allowed to drive cars.
A: It's bad enough they wear slacks and dungarees.
B: I don't think old people should wear seatbelts.
A: I don't think children should be taught language.
B: I think all men should have a vasectomy at birth. If they wish to reproduce, they would have to wait until they were "of age" and get three referrals from former girlfriends.
A: I think we'd have less crime if more people were burned at the stake.
B: I think that homeless people should get houses to live in.
A: I think I should control the Internet, and all the souls it steals with all its webcams, cookies, and porno.
Subject: I don't think women should be allowed to drive cars.
A: It's bad enough they wear slacks and dungarees.
B: I don't think old people should wear seatbelts.
A: I don't think children should be taught language.
B: I think all men should have a vasectomy at birth. If they wish to reproduce, they would have to wait until they were "of age" and get three referrals from former girlfriends.
A: I think we'd have less crime if more people were burned at the stake.
B: I think that homeless people should get houses to live in.
A: I think I should control the Internet, and all the souls it steals with all its webcams, cookies, and porno.
Monday, June 16, 2003
At my dotcom, "Pay Day" has been replaced with "Not Pay Day." On Not Pay Day, I like to think that all my myriad bosses in the hierarchy are on their private jet headed to go swimming in their vault of gold coins, lighting their cigars with my paycheck.
Sunday, June 15, 2003
Last night, the emergency room doctor told me I sprained my foot. And then she called me a pussy. The good news is that the guy I sprained it on is a cop, so now I get to brag that I got beat-up by a cop.
"You are all smoke and mirrors."
"You are all smoke and mirrors."
