BigSleep666

The active ingredient is rabies!

Tonight I listened to The Beatles and danced with a pretty girl. It was a cover band and she was my friend's girlfriend, but how really real is anything anyway?

You know what would have been a really bad movie? Masters of the Universe 4. And, you know it wouldn't even have Dolph Lundgren. He would have just given up by that point. The only time you'd see him would just be in flashbacks from the previous three Masters of the Universe films.

I decided it would be really, really funny if I were to gain a vast, studied experience with Nazisploitation films that I could just draw upon and drop at a moment's notice, and I would bring it up at cocktail parties, as if it were just normal and I would talk as if, of course, everyone has seen Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS. I would say things, "Oh, that reminds me of the great scene in Gestapo's Last Orgy where blah blah blah." Hilarity and hijinks ensue.

My Dad, the Anti-Zen Buddhist Master:
Years ago, when I was an obnoxious teenager, I asked my dad why he ran. He responded, "Because it feels so good to stop."

Two weeks ago Hilary Thomas read a piece about how mathematics and masturbation were contradictory, which I and my vast library of smut took as a challenge, if not an insult. This is my rebuttal.

“No, no, no,” she says, “This is calculus.”

She looks down at me and breathes, “Talk to me.”
And I know I’m supposed to call her a slut and talk about my cock, but I can’t do that, nor can I tell her I love her, but I can talk the international language. The international language? You know…? Math! The language of math!
“Talk to me,” she reminds me.
"…I want to divide your body by zero.”
(we shift)
“I want to reduce you to your prime number.
“These positive and negative movements are the ones and zeroes that make up the universe’s binary code. And I fully intend to break your binary code.
“X and Y are not variables.
“We are the magic number one.
“Double stranded helix of lust, this is my genome project.
“With enough sensitivity, I can read your DNA like Braille.
“The secrets it reveals would make you blush.
“I will cover your skin in warmth and geometry.
“I will show my work in sweat and saliva,
"And I will leave remainders in kisses.
"I will teach you long division.
"We will follow the models of trigonometry.
“This is how we multiply.
“This is algebra,” I whisper.
Riding my tongue, Pythagoras dances theorems across her spine, Copernicus insists that my Earth revolve around her Sun, and Galileo defies the Vatican.
“No, no, no,” she says, “This is calculus.”
“This is the process of calculating infinity.”
Friction.
Heat.
Spark.
This organic sine wave motion is building towards metronomic anomaly.
“I am the arrow shot towards you,” I whisper in her ear, “that first must travel half the distance before it hits its target.
“But first must travel half that distance.
“And half that distance.
“And half that-“
She silences me with two fingertips to my lips,
Drawing her audience to attention,
As she sings a song
In the key
Of new math.

Tonight I experienced what can only be described as runner's high.
No, wait.
That was cramps.

Talk math to me, baby! or Things that make me swoon or Algebra is the way to my heart:
"Pillow talk is more important than chocolates-which can be store bought.
Or....if the value of pillow talk = (p) & the value of chocolates = (c), then p>c."

A: I was listening to Minor Threat the other day, and, man, what?, twenty years later?, it still holds up.
B: It's true! But you know what doesn't? Youth of Today. God, that was fucking crap.

Conversations with My Dog:
[BigSleep666 blows bubbles at SmallDog666, who cowers in fear]
SmallDog666: Curse their monkey technology!

Meanwhile, in New York City, "Fahrenheit performers lead a huge range of daytime lives; they include public school teachers and ex-convicts."
The Antagonist Movement is calling for visual artists, writers, fashion designers, performers, filmmakers, etc. Hey, artist! Go shake your money maker!