Saturday, February 22, 2003
Thursday, February 20, 2003
Whenever I hear John Mayer sing, "I want to run through the halls of my high school. I want to scream at the top of my lungs," I think, "If that's what it sounds like when you scream at the top of your lungs, you don't deserve testicles."
Love is blind. And fucking stupid, too.
I'm going to start making business cards for myself. Something along the lines of:
BigSleep666: Just a Friend!
or maybe:
BigSleep666: Might as Well be Gay!
Love is blind. And fucking stupid, too.
I'm going to start making business cards for myself. Something along the lines of:
BigSleep666: Just a Friend!
or maybe:
BigSleep666: Might as Well be Gay!
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
I've decided that I don't like you anymore. Or anyone else, for that matter.
Monday, February 17, 2003
"I could be the word that changes your life. I want to be that word."
A typical conversation with my mother:
A: Are you dating anyone?
B: uh, nope.
A: Do you have anyone in mind?
B: Not really, no.
A: Biggy, I really think it's time for you to start dating again.
B: Mom! Do you want me to start telling you that I'm gay again!? Is that what you want?!
A typical conversation with my mother:
A: Are you dating anyone?
B: uh, nope.
A: Do you have anyone in mind?
B: Not really, no.
A: Biggy, I really think it's time for you to start dating again.
B: Mom! Do you want me to start telling you that I'm gay again!? Is that what you want?!
Sunday, February 16, 2003
Today I got into a fist fight with a total stranger. We both bled and we both lost teeth and I'm alright with that.
No. No, that didn't happen. Instead, I went to work on a Sunday and listened to the CFO sell me on the company line as I made a lot of eye contact and interested, affirmative grunts. Later that night for dinner I ate stale donuts that I stole from the office.
...
Yeah. I really need to start getting into more fist fights with total strangers.
If you need face paint to make your metal band appear hard, you might as well be practicing your synchronized dance numbers, you fucking pussies.
Whenever I buy Rogaine, I always get in the line with the checkout girl I find least attractive.
But I always get in the line with the hottest check out girl whenever I'm buying my box of extra large condoms and package of rubber bands.
No. No, that didn't happen. Instead, I went to work on a Sunday and listened to the CFO sell me on the company line as I made a lot of eye contact and interested, affirmative grunts. Later that night for dinner I ate stale donuts that I stole from the office.
...
Yeah. I really need to start getting into more fist fights with total strangers.
If you need face paint to make your metal band appear hard, you might as well be practicing your synchronized dance numbers, you fucking pussies.
Whenever I buy Rogaine, I always get in the line with the checkout girl I find least attractive.
But I always get in the line with the hottest check out girl whenever I'm buying my box of extra large condoms and package of rubber bands.
