BigSleep666

I've decided to stop being insane. It's expensive and it's really not doing much for me these days.

Xbox has made a new Army of Darkness video game called Fist Full of Boomstick, which is, coincidentally, a euphemism for my current sex life.

If they don't start installing horns on grocery shopping carts soon, I'm just going to start bringing my own.

As advertisers are selling concepts more than products, I'm building my resume accordingly:

"Hi! We're Generation X! Our parents are divorced, we like irony and unemployment, and we listen to Nirvana and Public Enemy!"

&

[Sung in the key of "Freedom Rock"]
"Hey, man, is that camp?!'
"Yeah, man!"
"Well, turn it up, man!!"

As much as I love being unconscious, as of late I've been consistently disappointed with how little work I get done when I'm asleep. I now endeavor to become an insomniac like some people endeavor to become an alcoholic. Which reminds me that I also want to start drinking.

And now a reading from The Blog of Pain!:

"Today is Tuesday. It's her last day at work, which means the last day I will receive these e-mails. She's getting on a plane for Los Angeles Thursday morning. She asked me if she should keep in touch. I told her to fuck off."
- Josh Hooten

Labels: The Blog of Pain

What the fuck are you looking at?

Now that my thoughts are available to the public, I've embraced my newfound celebrity, and I feel an obligation to my fans. As such, there is free entertainment for all you tonight at Emo's courtesy of Austin's own Masonic.

What I lack in cute I more than make up for in surly.

Recently, an attractworthy girl told me that girls are attracted to confidence. So, I went out and bought the new Harkonen CD, Shake Harder Boy, because it seemed a Hell of a lot easier.

The start of perhaps a semi-regular feature called:
"And now a reading from The Blog of Pain!":

"A few days after we had met up in some bar, her and Aaron had a big fight about it - about me. By way of making up, they had sex and afterwards he told her what he just did was nothing more than a dog pissing on a tree. He said he was just marking his territory.

"But she will love him forever.

"And she'll forget about me."
- Josh Hooten

Labels: The Blog of Pain

(BigSleep666! Now with crazy linkable gif action!)

People keep telling me I need to do this. I like to think it's because they want me to stop e-mailing them.

I chose the name because it's a nice melding of my favorite movie and Satan.

A little about me:

I work as an instructional designer, which is a lot like graduating with a degree in education and discovering you don't like children. So, if you find yourself thinking, "You know what this company needs? A smart, creative, diligent instructional designer with too much body hair who won't give us his real name!" then I'm your man.

Also, I've approached the awkward age where I'm reluctantly holding on to my boyhood, knowing it's really not getting me far in life, socially or professionally, but I sure do accumulate neat stuff. (I had a conversation recently with a stranger on an airplane. "How old are you?" he asks. "21? 23?" "27," I say. He commented that because I look younger than that it will be for my benefit when I'm, say, 40. "It's all that youthful acne," I wanted to say, but didn't.)

Finally, I have a funny looking dog with very special breath.

We'll see where all this takes me.